I recently finished reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck on my flights to and from Texas — a friend whom recently entered into my life recommended it (Riot from Mile Monsters Inc)— and while it didn’t blow my mind, it definitely served up some solid “yeah, I should probably live like that” reminders. Basically common sense… written in a way that called me out just enough to laugh at myself. 🤣

So here’s the deal: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck isn’t about walking through life numb or pretending you don’t care. It’s about realizing you’ve only got a limited number of f*cks to hand out… so you better be damn sure you’re handing them to the right things.

And honestly? That hit me harder than crosswind on the Boner bridge in OBX.

I’ve wasted f*cks before—on people who didn’t earn them, on stress that never paid rent, on situations where I should’ve walked away instead of powering through just to prove I could. The book basically slapped me on the back of the helmet and said, “Hey man… focus up.”

So here’s what I walked away with—the f*cks that actually matter, the ones worth keeping:

F*ck #1: My Values — The Real Ones, Not the Pretend Ones

If I’m giving a f*ck, it’s going toward being real, honest, responsible, and sticking to the things that line up with who I actually want to be. Good values lead to good problems, and yeah, growth stings sometimes… but it’s the kind of sting that turns into strength.

F*ck #2: My People — The Ones Who Truly Show Up and matter to me.

No more fcks wasted on energy vampires, one-sided people, or who only appear when it benefits them. The people who genuinely show up—those are the ones who get the real, full-hearted fcks.

F*ck #3: My Purpose — The Stuff That’s Bigger Than Me

What am I doing that actually means something? What’s the reason behind the miles, the effort, the long nights, and the grind? The book forces you to face that question without sugarcoating it. Purpose matters. Contribution matters. Doing something that leaves a ripple behind you matters.

F*ck #4: How I Handle the Hard Stuff

Life’s going to swing at you no matter what. You can’t dodge it. But you can choose how you react—whether you break, bend, or grow from it. The rough roads, the setbacks, the hits you take along the way… those shape you far more than the easy days ever will.

F*ck #5: My Time & Energy — The Most Limited I’ve Got

This one sunk in deep. Your energy isn’t unlimited. Your time damn sure isn’t, either. So why waste it on crap that drains you? If it doesn’t support my peace, my goals, or the people who matter—no f*ck given. Simple as that.

At the end of the day, the book didn’t teach me something new—it just put words to the stuff I’ve been figuring out. It’s about choosing your battles, investing in purpose, sticking to your values, and cutting the dead weight that doesn’t deserve your energy.

That’s what I’m taking with me:

Give a f*ck where it matters.

Save your energy for when it counts.

Stop letting the wrong things drain you.

That’s the subtle art—and I’m learning to practice it every damn day.